Well, by just I mean… over the course of the last few months.
It all began in early February, on the eve of a week-long Nelson/Marlborough holiday, when Amber announced to a somewhat tired (an admittedly grumpy) Royce that there were “two lines”. At the time, I had no idea what that meant. In fact, for a moment, I was transported into an unknown alternate dimension where Amber and I use Class A drugs and she was (perhaps) offering to share hers with me. I’d like to think she’d share with me. She’s a good sharer. I bet she aced kindergarten.
Back in the real world (where Class A drugs are seen only on “Border Patrol”) a fairly confused version of myself finally “clicked” when she rounded the corner holding a familiar looking white stick with two definite blue lines. Needless to say… I still needed some clarification. Turns out our week-long holiday was destined to be cocktail-free for Amber, but for a fantastic reason.
This historic, momentous life event that was first realised some five months ago, has since involved a large amount of “oh shit” moments regarding future finances/sleep patterns/sanity. This has also been backed up by many a middle-aged parent who inevitably lean back, twitch an awkwardly wicked grin and announce “you don’t know what you’re in for”. I, of course, do not know what I’m in for. Much like the first time I unwittingly tasted beetroot (which I now refer to as the “devil’s food”) I did not know what I was in for. BUT, the same goes for pizza… and look how that turned out! Pizza is amazing.
Having just got over the shock of buying a washing machine (more on that here), I now find myself forming opinions on such things as cots (they’re like beds but smaller – similar to a small, roofless wooden jail cell), change tables (like a cushioned dinner trolley but you don’t eat what goes on it) and wall decals (like normal decals but… you get the point). Our 1/2 bedroom suddenly looks as though a midget is about to go on home detention in the make-believe world of “My Little Pony”.
This whole process (of awesomeness) is now physically evident in the “belly” region of my gorgeous wife and, might I say, she is making pregnancy her b*tch (and looking amazing)! For those of you who are interested – Amber’s 27 weeks through and… we’re having a girl!!